Thursday, September 6, 2007

A "classy" birthday...

Now, I love birthday parties. I like to plan them, I like to attend them and I like to watch the kids there. Having said that...

Mary's class will all have birthdays between September 1st and December 31st. One boy's birthday was celebrated on the first day of school with blue cupcakes. Today, an invitation to another boy's birthday party was sent home in her folder. It's clear the entire class is invited. I'm torn. I want this little boy to enjoy his birthday party. But, I'm doubly torn because his birthday is at McDonalds. Mary and William don't yet know this place exists. While I suppose I could leave them with the impression that McDonalds is just another one of those places for birthday parties, I'm not really interested in opening that flood gate.

We don't really know this boy or his family and that may be precisely why he invited the whole class...to get to know his new classmates. However, if this becomes the trend - whole class parties - I don't think we'll be able to keep it up between now and the Holidays.

I don't want to sound rude or ungrateful for the invitation. I do feel a bit odd about going to a complete stranger's birthday party and I'm not able to linger in the hallway chatting with the other moms because I have 2 more children with me. Mary is in a class of 5 boys and 2 girls, so it's likely that some of the other boys wouldn't invite her on that principle, but I'm imagining weekend after weekend of parties! I need other's opinions to help me set my head straight in this area.

Oh wise, wise friends...your opinions please.

8 comments:

Unknown said...

I wouldn't want to go to a party at Mcdonalds either and I do find it a little strange that on the 2nd day of school you get an invite.

Personally we wont be going to every party we are invited to from the class. I think inviting one or two kids from class is ok but there is a point where the party get too big.

Just my opinion..

Lisa said...

Is it possible this little boy doesn't have any other friends besides the 6 pseudo-friends in his class? What if all the mother's feel this way and no one comes?? (btw...no one showed up to my 6th birthday party and that hurt)

Unknown said...

OK that would hurt. HMM maybe go to this one and then re-evaluate what you feel at that point. I am at a loss and have no clue what to think

Lisa said...

Thinking again, it's highly likely that his mom is only inviting the whole class because it's "polite."

Then again, I don't want Mary to come off like the little girl who's mommy is anti-social.

Perhaps a call to tell the mommy that we won't be able to make it to the party, but we'd like to play (at Chick-fil-A?) one day to get to know she and her son.

Am I making way too big a deal out of this?

Lisa said...

rather, that should say "her and her son"

Melanie said...

I like Casey's idea of going to this one to get a feel for the turnout and better evaluate the next one(s).

This happened last year in Eleanor's class. We did go to a couple of parties for classmates that we didn't know and, frankly, it was awkward. We didn't know the parents, Ella barely knew the birthday child, and deciding on a gift was particularly difficult. However, seeing the turnout they had (most of the class in both cases) made it easier to turn down other invitations without guilt.

On the other hand, Eleanor really enjoyed herself and was thrilled to see her classmates outside of school. However, the monthly class socials we held also met that need. You might consider hosting a social (we had picnics at the park, met for ice cream and at the Wiggly Play Center, and spent a morning at the pumpkin patch) and passing around a schedule for each parent to sign up to host a monthly social at your first meeting. It worked well for us!

Kristen said...

Hmmm, this is a hard one...

My feeling is that the kids are 2 & 3. I bet the moms invited everyone just to be polite. I don't know how I would feel about taking Colin to a stranger's birthday party just for the sake of being invited. Though I feel sad (and always have)for the kids who have birthdays right around when school is starting (my child included), it's too early to tell who the kids new "friends" are.
This day, it's kind of hard not to have any friends, so I wouldn't really worry about the mom inviting the class b/c they don't have any other friends.
Just my thoughts...

Bonnie said...

I think the idea of scheduling an outside playdate when you call is a good one. Even if you did that with every kid's birthday, it seems like it'd be less stressful than a whole party every weekend.